I am overwhelmed. I am having one of those days where it feels like I can’t get a handle on what I need to do. It’s like I am trudging toward a horizon that just keeps getting further away. Maybe you’ve been there. A mountain of dishes that just never goes away no matter how many you wash. Or laundry. By the time I get around to washing some of my clothes, they are already out of style. Or too small. Or both. Sigh. Big Sigh.
On days like this one, where it all seems so futile, I make a list. Not of what I need to do. I make a list of what I did do. It helps. It helps me see that I did exercise. I did deal with some business stuff that needed attention. I did call that person that needed a kind word.
I also rested today. I feel guilty when I take a nap. It’s like that shouldn’t count. But why not? If we don’t take care of ourselves, then we won’t be well enough to help everyone else who is standing in line.
I find prayer really helps on days like this. I can turn my burdens over to the One who can shoulder them. I find that praying with someone — a friend, a spouse can also bring relief. And if no one is around, I can journal my prayers. Putting it on paper takes it out of my head and brings it back down to size.
Since I developed my chronic back problem, I do have days when pain prevents me from doing everything as quickly as I would like. I have to remember that it’s ok to live my life at the speed I am living it. I can’t do as much as I once could. Is that a defeatist attitude? Or is it realistic? And who is judging me? It turns out that I am the one who is doing the judging. So maybe today I can take off my Judge robes and put down the gavel, and accept that my life is still fine – even if it is a bit slower.
I actually did accomplish more than I thought I had today. Tomorrow will give me another chance to work on those projects that I see waiting for me. I might even work in another nap.